Being 17 through 40 year old eyes

Like every other teenage girl out in the "Twilight" world, I and along with my family went to see New Moon this past weekend. My daughter had read some of the series and was trying to catch me up to the characters. She had read Twilight completely and was a bit disappointed that the movie didn't depict the movie in its entirety. (but..screenplays made from books rarely ever do....THATS way too much movie, so lots of cuts had to be made)

I remember watching Twilight when it was first released...reminded me so much a Romeo and Juliette. Two people from different worlds trying not to fall in love but happens anyway...a true love tragedy.

Before seeing New Moon, we rented Twilight again to remember the storyline. I didn't read the book (which I will be after seeing New Moon) if I had, everything would have remained more vivid in my memory. There is something about reading books that allows your imagination to form the pictures that the writer had described to you in black and white. I suppose this is why my daughter was not too happy with Twilight, after she read the book, she had a completely different image of Edward than that of Robert Pattinson and you see for me...now that I am reading the series, I see no other image but Robert Pattinson as Edward. Go figure.

Let me continue, so watching Twilight unlocked that 17 year old young girl in my soul. She had been asleep and seeing this love story unfold had awoken her. My heart began to flutter when Bella notices Edward watching her, or began to ache when he would shun her, then melt when he tells her, "Bella you are my world".

Being a writer I wanted to know more about its author, Stephanie Meyer and so i began to do research on her. I came across her website and there she tells the story about the conceptions of Edward and Bell and how they came to be....all from a dream. She goes on to speak of the leak of her 5th book of the series, Midnight Sun...Twilight through Edward's eyes. Very disappointed she was, violated she felt...she trusted someone with her work and they betrayed her...as odd as it may be...I under stand why she stopped writing the manuscript. I just hope she finishes it.

I started the skim through the manuscript and decided to read it. Ah...can I just tell you that my 17 year old self as fallen in love with this character. He speaks of his forbidden love for "her" and how challanging it is to love "her" when he knows his instinct told him to kill her. How he describes "her" sleeping when he sneaks into her room. When he first finds out that he will fall in love with "her"..through Alice of course...how upset he was...because how can a human love a vampire?

We think of our real lives when two people meet from different side of the tracks. How can a rich boy love the pauper girl. Or the street wise guy with no book smarts fall for a scholar. Happens alot and you never know the trial and tribulations that the relationship suffers unless you're in it. This book brings the reader in it.

I downloaded a version of "Bella's Lullaby", my daughter says it's not the one used in the movie; I began listening to it while i just so happen to be in the section in the book where Edward begins composing the piece. The two together (listening and reading) made the chapter come more alive and my heart began to skip a beat. The seventeen year old in me began to sway with her eyes closed...with each strike of the keys she felt the love more and more and began to dance as if no one was watching...but I was there to feel it all. That lullaby has become part of my meditation before i begin to write....such an amazing piece.

At this age...yes 40, we're expected to be this refined woman, a responsibile woman, a no non-sense woman, not be a giddy school girl or one that takes life on a whim. However, its this young seventeen year old girl that keeps me alive and there are very few occasions that she comes out to play. Reading this series will keep her more alive now than when she actually was all those years ago.

Ladies, never forget your seventeen year old selves, they need to be let out from time to time, to keep YOUR spark alive.

A Love Note to My Past

A Love Note to My Past

Dear You,

I opened the book and see you looking back at me.
Looking at you has brought back so much memories
I remember us walking to the local parties
Thinking, “I can’t wait to see who will meet me”

Waking up late for school and running out the house.
Being upset, looking down, “Damn, I wore the wrong blouse.”
The Agua Net cans was purchased in cases
The breakers wore sweat suits and Adidas’with no shoe laces.

Back then, we fell hard for another’s mate.
Seeing them together, filled was with hate.
Now, all grown up we have our own
Hoping that Karma won’t claim a debt owed.

The Society of Secrecy, kept our bond tight.
Wishing that one wouldn’t slip due to a bad fight.
We held on to all that was shared and said.
Even the worst of them all, that has us cry ourselves to bed.

The anger with the parentals grew each day.
Wishing that our “real” family would come take us away.
The pain had stricken every part of our being
“You will be repaid in the end?” we were told.
We wanted to know, “what were they seeing?”

I wanted to embrace you close and tight.
Letting you know that all will be alright.
The harder I told you all would be okay
The further and further you slipped away

We wrote love letters from the depth of our heart
Even wrote the letter that ripped our soul apart.
I never thought we’d make that era out alive
But look at us now, ready to hit the world and thrive.

Love Always, Me