You are Me: The Value of a True Friend

"A true friend will always hold your hand, through the good, the bad, the ugly and everything in between & just when you think you want to let go, they will hold on tighter ."-Me

"The way you know if someone is your best friend: That person brings out the absolute best in you." That was the one profound comment that Pastor Rick Warren left me with when I left last week's service. 

As I get older I realize the quality of friendships matters most than the quantity. I have "Lord knows" how many aquaintacences but a very few people I call my friends. You know the ones...the ones that drop what they are doing to help you with whatever you need. The ones that you don't need to say anything because one look at you and they already know what you need. The ones that when you have no money, they'll give you their last dollar to make sure you make it through the next day. The ones that don't expect more than you can give and that's...just be you. 

With that...
There are certain friendships that are worth fighting for. Be that friend that you know you'd fight for.

6 Golden Rules
to be the Great Friend YOU deserve...

1. Invest the Time

These means when you're spending time with them...give them your undivided attention. Social Media, texts, emails can wait. They are giving you something you can never repay....their time. 

It's too precious to waste.

2. Earn their Trust

I still struggle with trusting those close to me...I'm a work in progress :) There are three key elements that are crucial with this piece, they are:

a. Be Reliable

b. Be Loyal

c. Keeping Confidences (Secrets)

Had I had people in my life that were like this, I probably wouldn't have the struggles that I do. Even at 45, I'm still learning.

3. Listen with Empathy

 When you listen, make sure it's with understanding not waiting to respond.

Not everyone will think as you do or react to situations in the same manner...just be there and listen. Most importantly listen for emotions not being said; their tone, their facial expressions, or body language can tell you far more than what their words may be saying.

4. Accept their flaws

"You're a good egg, even if you're a lil cracked" *wink*

Through it all they accept you warts and all, *chuckle* My Pastor likes to use this one quite a bit. However, its true...a great friend holds not judgments, they don't see the exterior....they see the real beauty that lies beneath the surface...your soul.

5. Celebrate wins and share losses

a. Joys are doubled

b. Sorrows are cut in half

God never intended for us to ever be alone. We were meant share our lives with others, no matter the kind of relationship it is...Friend, Family, Significant other, Co-Workers, etc.

When my life was in celebration mode, I couldn't keep up with the number of "friends" that were ready to share in that...however, the true test came when the "Losses" in my life occurred. That's when I learned the true definition of a "true friend"...they stand by you through the good, the bad, the ugly and everything in between. They never let go even when I was ready to give up. I am truly grateful for them.

6. Bring out your Best

They risk rejection in order to be completely honest, because they are far more interested in your future than how you feel about them at that moment. (*times such as these I refer to as #truthmoment). 

I hope these are just as insightful for you as they have been for me.

As Always...Continue to:

Be Inspired

Be Inspiring 

 

Single and NOT Looking

This was written by a blogger that was featured on “The Praying Woman” website.

I could not have written it any better myself…this says exactly what I am experiencing. I am truly grateful for God’s Timing and showing me that I am not the only person going through similar challenges. 

“My sister and I were having a conversation about me not dating. I turn everybody down. I don’t give my number out, don’t accept any and I pretty much stay indoors as best as I can. So she asked me why (as she does on a consistent basis) and each time I give her a different answer that sounds reasonable: I’m too busy, he’s not saved, he parties too much… and the list goes on. Truth is, I just didn’t know how to tell her that I had a word from God and dating just isn’t in his plans for me right now. I knew the questions that would follow and there are just some things that are hard to explain… especially spiritual things.

However, truthfully speaking, there was a time in my life, about a year and a half ago, where I was really stressing God for a husband. I made a husband list, prayed over it, put the list under my pillow, put it in my bible, brought it to church… anywhere I felt like I could place it to make it happen for me ASAP. Before you knew it, I was telling myself that I am expecting my husband in faith, and so every brother that walked by me was possibly “him”.

It was stressful… and caused me to entertain some fakes. The more nothing happened, the more earnest my prayers became.

But as I continued to grow closer to God I learned one very important lesson, God is not as concerned about what we want or what we are to have, as He is concerned about WHO we are to become. It is nothing for God to open up his hands and give us anything. He actually wants us to have the desires of our hearts. But He will not do it at the expense of who we are to become. Our purpose is far more important to God and maturing in Him is a necessary first step.

As I look back I realized, since the day I gave my life to God, He has been working in me to mold me into ALL that He has created me to be. Therefore, I needed to align with Him and let that be my focus. With that lesson planted in my heart, I learned to let go and surrender. And, day by day, God’s love for me and plans for me are so crystal clear that I have no doubt that, in time, all things ordained for me will find me… husband included.

Even in this very difficult season I find myself in, truth is I have never known such peace and joy. I’ve fallen deeper in love with God and am falling deeper in love with myself – it’s like unearthing a treasure. Day by day I discover something else I am good at or passionate about and day by day I find out how deep God’s love for me is. I never even thought it possible to experience this level of relationship with a God I cannot see. Yet, He is even more real to me than this keyboard I am tapping away at.

While I don’t consider myself waiting or looking for a husband, I sure do desire to be married but in God’s time. I think marriage is just one of those things you want to leave all up to God. Because when we make a wrong choice or find ourselves manipulating outcomes, trying to get a man to pay attention to us or see our value, it doesn’t last – and then we’re left picking up the pieces.

Been there… done that. I’ve spent far too much time outside of the will of God, and it’s not nice out there, believe me.

Besides, I have so much going on right now on the path to finding my purpose – and there is still so much more that God needs me to do. My only prayer, in this season, is to stay focused on finishing this course and making it to the other side. Whatever awaits me there, I will welcome it. Until then, I seek only the kingdom of God and whatever else He wants me to have, He will add it onto me.”

So, the next time you see me out and about, know that I am perfectly content in my solitude.
God is transforming my King from the inside out, as He has done with me.
I trust His timing and His will...for I know:

 When God intends it, NOTHING can prevent it.

All is well.

Continue to Be Inspired,

Be Inspring