Wednesday, December 08, 2010

The Magic of Christmas


The Magic of Christmas

With Christmas arriving closely around the corner, most of us will take the time to reflect on the season as we shop for everyone on our list.
We carefully look at our list as though we’re helping the jolly man with his job; we check it once, we check it twice and we make the determination of who’s been naughty and who’s been nice.
We review the wish list and make two columns: there’s the “doable” list and the “what the heck were they thinking” list.
We scratch our heads as we decipher the column’s inventory.
What happen to the days of wooden toy trucks, jack in the box’s, rock’em sock’em and dolly wet a lot?
Now, we’re being asked for Xbox 360’s, Wii stations, computers, iPads, and even a trained messenger bird was on the list of my 7 year old.
And as you review the list of friends that you will shop for, do you buy a gift in hopes they will return the same gesture? or do you feel obligated to buy a gift because someone you didn’t expect to get one from gave you one?

As I type this, I’m reminded of the selflessness of the couple from “Gift of the Magi”
She with long beautiful flowing hair, which reminded you of Rapunzel and he with a pocket watch which was that of a family heirloom.
She eyed a stunning set of hair combs and he of a chain for his watch.
Neither had enough money to purchase the other the gift that they wanted, so they sacrificed to make the other happy.
Christmas morning arrived, each presented their gift to the other.
With excitement they looked at their carefully wrapped presents, asking themselves “What could to be?” however more excited to see the joy in the other than they felt within themselves.
She wearing her bonnet, unwraps the gift he gave her and there they were the stunning hair combs she had eyed earlier in the season. He with excitement asked her put them on so he could see how they looked, she undid her bonnet and the flowing hair that once ran down to the small of her back, was not longer there, she had sold her hair to pay for his gift.
She asked him to open his gift to see what her hair had paid for and as he did, tears streamed down his face as he saw what it was….the chain for his watch that he had eyed earlier that month.
You see he had sold his watch to pay for her hair combs.
Neither was upset for they showed how much they really loved each that by sacrificing what they felt was their most prized possession.

That is what the Christmas season means to me….it’s not about receiving but that of giving, and giving whole heartedly without seeking anything in return.
The excitement I feel each time I present someone with a gift is the same excitement I felt on my very first Christmas.
Receiving is always nice but giving is worth so much more.

So remember this Christmas season, whether its purchasing a gift, providing a service or just being nice, please do so without expecting anything in return. The joy you feel in side after doing any of these acts will be so rewarding, you’ll feel like it’s your first Christmas all over again, too.

Remember to Always
Be Inspiring, Be Inspired.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Happy 18th Birthday Isis Chanel!!!


My Baby Girl Turns 18














September 30 1992 at 5:35am, I gave birth to my best friend. My mother and Comadre witnessed an angel come into our world and whom we named Isis Chanel.
Today marks the 18th year this angel has been on earth with us and during these 18 we have all been blessed each day that she has been present.

My daughter, my best friend, my angel, you saved me the day you were born and I cannot express how proud you make us all. Today is your 18th birthday, today is the day you officially become an adult, you can vote, you can make your own decisions (not that you haven’t already been doing that)…but no matter what the law says you will always be my baby girl. The baby girl I would hold close to my chest and cry, because out of all the mommies in the world, my angel, you chose me. A blessing I would never take for granted.

Though the eighteen year old rode hasn’t been easy, we managed to make it through every obstacle, every hurdle, every challenge and through it all everyday you have amazed me.

Happy 18th Birthday my Baby Girl.

The world awaits you, just go claim what is already yours!!!


Don’t forget to remember me; always Be Inspired and Be Inspiring!


Here is a Birthday Poem for you:

A Daughter is a Wonderful Blessing

A daughter is one of the greatest blessings one could ever have
She begins her life loving and trusting you automatically

For many years, you are the center of her life
Together you experience the delights of the new things she learns and does

You enter into her play and are once again young
And even though its harder to enter into her world as she becomes a teen…

You are there, understanding her dilemmas and her fears
And wishing with all your heart that she didn’t have to go through them

A daughter’s smile is a precious sight that you treasure each time you see it
And the sound of her laughter always brings joy to your heart

Her successes mean more to you than you own
And her happiness is your happiness

Her heartaches and disappointments becomes yours, too.
Because when she isnt okay you cant be okay either.

Daughters aren’t perfect
But you, Daughter, come close to it.
You have given me more happiness than you know

I am thankful for your kindness and thoughtfulness
And I am proud of who you are
And how you live your life

Words cant express how much you mean to me or how much I love you
The love goes too deep, and the gratitude and price I feel is boundless.

Thank you for the blessing in my life in so many ways
-Barbara Cage

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Bitter-Sweet 4th 2010

Happy 4th of July from 3/4 of the Aviles Family




So, as most of you know, my daughter, Isis, is in New York this summer.
This trip is very crucial for her...its a time for her growing as an individual
And also for me....no, really… it’s SUPPOSE to help me prepare my self to be ready to let her go next year.

Honestly...after the meltdown I had on 4th of July, I don’t know how I’m going to do it next year.

Here you all be the judge:



Last night Michael said before we went to bed, “This year we’re going to get up early and find a gooood spot.”

Well, our 4th of July started like any other year; our morning ritual of waking at 730 am and frantically try to grab all the “necessaties” for our outting.
You know which ones? Snacks, swim trunks, towels, book, iPod, iTouch, iPhone, Blackberry, PSP and any other electronic item that we could think of before we left the house. I think if, he could…Michael wouldve taken the 60” plasma off the wall and figure how to mount it at the park just so he could watch the Yankee game…but…the iTouch will have to do.

We get Mikey into the car but not before he yells out, “Don’t f’get my boogie board, you know the one that shoots out water!” Yes, a boogie board that shoots out water…Heaven forbid we forget this absolutley crucial item for our outting.

So there we are on our way to our yearly 4th of July celebration at our old neighborhood, Ladera Ranch.

We find the first available parking space, park and proceed to unload all the stuff, including his Puerto Rican pillow, because he HAS to let EVERYONE know that he is a PROUD Puerto Rican, from the car and into our newly purchased wagon Without Isis we need to rely on Mikey to help us carry some of these things that couldn’t fit in the wagon…but all Mikey could carry was…his boogie board that shoots out water.



Here's Michael and Mikey, with the family wagon, the PR pillow and mikey is carrying his infamous boogie board that shoots out water



Michael begins to question his ability to find the perfect spot, especially when he sees other families schleping their stuff out of their cars and into their wagons. Did everyone else have the same thought he did? Wake up early and find their very own perfect spot. We turn the corner to where the park is and sure as a fat kid loves cake…they DID! There are tents, blankets and lots of areas taped off by “caution tape”, we even saw a child using their stuff animals to block off an area for their family…with a look of “Back off Lady, my Suzie the Bugaloo will eat you if you even think about stepping over here!”

It seems Michael did not get the memo that stated, “ Its 4th of July People and we’re doing it all over again this year, so if you wish to find your perfect spot, remember wake up before the rooster, pack all your crap and camp out until the park opens at 6am to find a location, however we must warn you: should you try to set up before 6am, the Setup Po Po will confiscate your items and “disgard” them”

Psh “disgard” when in actuality means, “if you got something worth keeping….WE’RE KEEPING IT!!!”







Well it was not so bad, we actually found a nice spot to set up camp…camp, yyiiyeah, pretty much feels like that. Michael pulled out the ice chests, chairs, table, umbrellas, blankets, lamp, cantene, compass….ooh sorry got carried away there, no cantene no compass…it was a water bottle and the iPhone does come with a compass app, thank you very much….but he actually did have the LAMP!


Michael not ONLY has to show everyone he's a PROUD Puerto Rican but also a PROUD Yankee and Giants Fan! ...ps the Redskin ice chest belongs to my brother that why its hidden.




When its all set up and completed, I start BBMing Isis (Oh, for those of you not Blackberry savvy, this is BlackBerryMessengering). We go back and forth about if daddy brought all the madness, I tell her yes. Did Daddy drive you crazy trying to get all the stuff in the car, I tell her yes. Did Mikey bring some new item of the day that he cant live without…that would be the boogie board that shoots out water, I tell her yes. Hahaha’s go back and forth and THEN…it HITS me! Isis will be a resident of New York this time next year and she’s there now and that means: last year’s 4th of July would have been the last 4th of July we spend with her…..I begin to weep…and then cry. Had I known, I would have done something more special for her last year, but I cant and wont be able to. I get sadder and sadder…then Michael having no clue to my revelation…looks up and has that look… “What the Hell did I do now!?”

I proceed to tell him what happened and my tears fall, he looks at me with a serious look and says, “If her grades arent up to where they need to be, she aint going no where, so take back those tears, Woman!”

Leave it to Michael to take the seriousness out of a “moment”.

So, that meltdown has demonstrated one of two things to me:


1. I need to be able to accept my daughter growing up and beginning her own new adventures and know that she’ll always have us for guidance.


Or

2. I sabotage the hell out of her studies so her grades are crap, she stays in California, goes to a Junior College locally and live with us forever!

Michael says I need to suck it up and let her begin her adventure starting June 2011; I have to say that I agree with him.

As parents its our job that we create a road map of …life, if you will, for our children. So when we’re rasing them they could see all the road blocks that we experienced and manage to create alternative roads for our end result whether they be good, bad or ugly but we experienced LIFE. Though the road was not always paved to perfection, it still got us to where we were going. We must trust ourselves to know that we were sufficient guides and that they take what they have learned and begin to create their own map and make their mark that says:

“My parents raised me right and I was here!”

By the way…4th of July was pretty good. We had a ball, Mikey never made it to the pool and therefore the boogie board never saw the water once but Mikey still had the time of his life. He entered a Hula Hoop contest was labeled the Hula Hoop Champ (didnt even know my son could Hula Hoop). I got a chance to see some old friends and enjoy a “drink” with them.
Michael,Mikey and I watched an amazing firework show and I still managed to share the day with my daughter via BBM and uploading pix on FB.
All is well with this Mama.......at least for the moment until i decide to reminisce through my daughter's room and the water works begin again, that is.

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

A Daughter's Love


As my daughter's Junior year vastly comes to an end, her summer in New York is approaching quickly around the corner and her final year of high school facing me on the horizon;

I often questioned myself, "Did I do okay in raising my daughter?"

The letter below proves to me that...I knocked it out the park!

This is a Mother's Day letter my daughter, Isis, wrote to her Godmother, Jenny and myself. Hope you enjoy it as much as we did...definitely brought tears to our eyes.


TO MY MOM AND MY NINA:

Mom and Nina,

Theres not enough words to describe you to but i think amazing may cover it.
You guys are amazing role models and I wouldn’t be who I am today with out you two.

Mom, if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be here today. We have our good days and our not so good days but what mother and daughter don’t?

Your a fighter, mom, and don’t forget to keep on fighting cause I know one day when I look at New York’s best sellers , I’ll see your name on the top of the list.

I LOVE YOU MOMMY!

And Nina, you were there when I was born and I can’t say I remember that day but I do remember all the times we’ve had together and all the phone calls; the phone, not always laughs but I can honestly say you helped me get through my toughest battle last year and I don’t know how I could have done it without you. I LOVE YOU! and I am sooooo soooo soooo grateful that my mom picked you as my GodMother!

I LOVE YOU LADIES sooooo much and I’d just like to say Happy Mothers Day, Moms!

Isis Chanel


Coma' Jen, hold my hand and please take a bow with me! She's ready to take on the world.

Our Beautiful Princess, your Nina and I did good!

*Remember, the world is yours! All you have to do is go out there and claim it!

Never forget to always Be Inspiring and continued to Be Inspired with all that surrounds you!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

In the words of a Queen.....

Hello my Readers,

I was searching different sites to see whats out there and i came across alot on interesting ones.

A friend of mine turned me on to a particular one called:

artofmanliness.com

Must say i liked it because it takes men back on how to be gentlemen...highly recommend..i tried to forward to Michael...all he did was delete it..whatever..i still have my son i can groom and show him the site.

Anyway... what I especially found interesting was a *bucket list (*list of things to do before you die ), that a man can make for his unborn son.

I looked through it and had a...in the words of Kimora Lee Simmons her self...FABOULOUS...thought...

"Why don't I create my own bucket list for all my "dormant" Queens!!"

You know what I mean?

The women that are queens but they just haven't awoken her yet...

So....here we go, the first TEN, of what i hope will be 100 one day:

1. Take a dance class...let out your inner Fly Girl (JLo circa 1990)

2. Create a routine to Beyonce's "Diva" and watch yourself in the mirror...you'll feel like a Diva when you hear the hook..."a Diva is a female version of a Hustler" (you can try to booty poppin she does, but i nearly threw my back out when i tried)

3. Try anything at least once...and Queen should be diverse. (I thought I hated sushi until one of my Queens asked "Have you ever tried it? Me: nope. Her: WTH, D? Here try some and then if you dont like it then you can say exactly why"....guess what I tried it...and I LOVED IT!!!!)

4. Always put perfume on before leaving the house. You may not look your best, but a woman who puts on perfume will ALWAYS feel like a woman. ( I always feel sexy when i put on Gucci "Envy"even in sweats)..I must admit...i got this one from my favorite designer, Coco Chanel.

5. Since Im on the Coco Chanel tip...always always make sure you have a black cocktail in the closet....this is not an option...this is a MUST...you never know when those last minute plans will come about and a Queen is never caught of guard......remember.....A MUST!!!

6. Remove Negativity...if you dont believe you're a Queen, no one else will either.

7. Evaluate the women that surround you....they all have a quality you love about them and then let them know.

8. Evaluate the ex's and soon to be ex...they all had/have a quality you didnt like about them and make sure you stay away from that.

9. The flip of #8, the ex's had a quality that attracted you them in the first place, create the list and when your done, evaluate the list...THAT IS YOUR KING. (*so if a guy does not match up to that list....as HOV would say..."On to the next one...")

10. NEVER SETTLE (*you're a Queen and deserve the best! know this, believe this..LIVE THIS)

There is the start of my 2010 Bucket List for my Queens...if you wish to add more, please leave me a comment and lets see we can make 100 by the year end review.

Lastly, I want to share the lyrics to India Irie's Video...I fell in love with this song as soon as I read the lyrics...the epitome of how i feel...i changed it up just a very very lil bit..those of you that know the song...see if you can find where i made the change.

Till the next entry mis Reinas....as always....

Continue to be Inspiring and Be Inspired


Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I don't
Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I won't
Depend on how the wind blows I might even paint my toes
It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul

I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a Queen


I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be
the Queen

When I look in the mirror and the only one there is me
Every freckle on my face is where it's supposed to be
And I know our creator didn't make no mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes; I'm lovin' what I see

I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a Queen

I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always
be the Queen

Am I less of a lady if I don't wear pantyhose?
My mama said a lady ain't what she wears but, what she knows
But, I've drawn a conclusion, it's all an illusion, confusion's the name of the game
A misconception, a vast deception
Something's gotta changebut,
Don't be offended this is all my opinion ain't nothing that I'm sayin law
This is a true confession of a life learned lesson I was sent here to share with y'all
So get in where you fit in go on and shine
Clear your mind, now's the time
Put your salt on the shelf
Go on and love yourself'
Cuz everything's gonna be all right

I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I Learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a
Queen

I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be
the
Queen

Keep your fancy drinks and your expensive minks
I don't need that to have a good time
Keep your expensive car and your caviar
All I need is my guitar
Keep your Kristal and your pistol
I'd rather have a pretty piece of crystal
Don't need your silicone I prefer my own
What God gave me is just fine

I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a Queen


I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be
THEE QUEEN

Friday, March 26, 2010

The Birth of "Dleesaa"

The Equation of how the "Dleesaa" persona came to be.


Shalamar Circa 1985
(yes, I know..she looks very alienesque, but i chose the name based on sound not how she looked...just sayin')


Hello my Readers!!! Hope all is well...i have had the same question asked over and over again: "How does a Mexican-Italian girl get a name like Delisa?"



So here I am about to explain how Marialuisa became Dleesaa.


Because my birthname is Marialuisa alot of teachers had a hard time trying to be PC and roll the r's, they decided to call me Maria...Yeah..imagine that! A Mexican-Italian girl with the name Maria...how original.


My freshman/sophmore year i went to a predominently caucasion school...okay okay..white school...where we actually had a surf club...side note..i was on the surf club..i was deteremined to be the next Gidget...just did not know how to hold the damn bored so i gave up...oops..sorry getting off the subject.
Going to that school with a name like Maria..didn't bother me..i was unique next to the Kelly's, Jane's, and Molly's...until sophmore year...when a lot of Asian girls had the name Maria and then people thought i was polynesian.



Junior year..i changed schools and attended a predominently Latin and Asian school...nice..im around my people....where the majority of them were named Maria...so i decided to revamp my self and go by the name my mom use to call me when she was pissed.



My family called my Lisa...short for the Luisa part, but when Mami was pissed at me...you'd hear her yell "Lisita!"


I graduated high school in 1987...yes...1-9-8-7!


A bad breakup and a flip of a coin; sent me to go to the Fashion Insistiute of Design and Merchandise.


While attending there, I majored in Merchadise Marketing. What I wanted more than anything was to own my own boutique.


The key to owning your own store and being successful...is a catchy name. My family of course was like, "Call it Lisita's"....uh if i want to sell childrens' clothes...maybe. However, that wasn't the route i wanted to go.


I wanted to sell fashionable items straight from the runways. I met a lot of potential designers; some that i could even vision being successful and with me by their side selling their line...just needed a name that CAUGHT!


On one particular weekend, I was out at a Summer Jam concert...the lineup was Zapp, Lisa Lisa, Full Force, LA Dream Team and Shalamar.


Though, I was enjoying the concert, I still had the boutique in the back of my mind and then it was time for Shalamar to perform. The MC introduced Howard Hewett, Jeffrey Daniel and then...Delisa Davis.


My eyes lit up when i heard her name because I just found the name of my boutique and my new self....just had to change the spelling.


P I plaued aropund wiothvarious version of spelling it: Delisa, D'Lisa, Dee Lisa...then I found what I was looking for...D' Lee-Saa....it was fun telling people how to spell it....D apostrophe, capital L...e...e..hyphin, capital S...a...a.....yes, it did it phonetically; and it CAUGHT!


People might not have remembered my name, but it sure as hell rang a loud ass bell when they did hear it and THAT'S exactly what I wanted.


Needless to say, I had to stop going to school to help my family and the boutique never made it. Through the years, the apostrophe and hyphin fell off on its travels and has remained...Dleesaa.


Funny how life works....imagine had the coin flipped the other way? ....Fashion Institute of Technology in NY is where i would have been.


I still would have wanted my boutique, but Shalamar rarely performed in NY, so seeing them, probably wouldnt have happened and Dleesaa would not be.


However, Fate wanted me to stay in Cali a lil longer and make sure that I'd be here to type this blog entry!


So, there it is...how I came to be...hope you all enjoyed it.


Always remember to be Inspiring and Be Inspired....Delisa Davis inspired me all those years ago and now look at me...a name that rings a bell that people WILL remember me.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

When are we considered a "Grownup"?

My Beautiful Mami, Circa 1964





Have you ever asked yourself, "Am I grownup?" or "When did I become a "grownup"?




I always thought when i became a parent, I was a grownup! But then seeing these babies having babies through the past 3 decades, there was no way these children were grownups.




Then when I purchased my first home, it was then i knew...I was a grownup! But...the mortgage boom happened and as long as you were at least 18 years of age, you could buy a home. Ive seen some of these 18 year old homeowners and there is no way that they are "grownups".



So, when do we become grownups? I pondered this for a bit, then it hit me....we become growups when we experience the loss of a parent, it is only then that you know what it to be a true bonafide grown up.



At that point there is no longer a "go to" person, it is all YOU!



We're having struggles understanding our daughter...i used to go to Mami..how did she handle me when she couldnt understand me?



We werent sure about purchasing a home...Michael would go to Pop for his advice and how we should proceed.




Having our parents alive meant, to most of us, that we werent alone in our decision making, we could still rely on our parent to help bail us out for a solution, like we did when were children.



You remember?



I do.


I remember when I first learned to put makeup on...I was ready to head out the door, mami stopped me and asked where the circus was? I put so much make up on, i should have been able to juggle apples on que. Thank good ness for Mami...i would have been made fun but she made sure that that didnt happen.




Or when learning how to drive. My dad taught me how to drive and I got into an accident, I was so freaked out that he said "dont worry, it happens, now you know to be a more careful driver.

"...all this in spanish of course..."*tien cuidado" he's always say before i head out any where
*be careful.




****Oh, how I wish i could hear these words now.



We really arent grownup until we experience that loss.



Now, our children come to us for advice, for guidance, for protection and when i turn behind to see who i could turn to....its just me.


*Wups I cant forget my lil note:


Of course there are those of us out there that had no choice but to grow up sooner than most. What I'm speaking of is the general.


So now that there are alot of us out there that are now bonafide Grownups; there are more eyes on us looking for guidance and words of wisdom.
With that: always remember to continue to:


Be Inspiring and Be Inspired


Monday, March 01, 2010

Osayande "Ocean" Glapion comes to the Brea Improv!

"Ocean" and me at Brea Improv 2/27/10

Ocean and I go back over 12 years or so, though he's known in the comedy circuit as Ocean; I know him as Osayande...yes it is!...says so on his birf certificate!


To see where is accomplishments have taken him, make me so proud (not that I had anything to do with it, unless he's using me for some of his material, if so...I want creative credit!!!) Its truly amazing!


I heard some time ago that he was getting into comedy and thought, "That's cool, through the years i had never saw him as a comic" but then again I have no idea how anyone gets started in this type of business, so who I am to say anything. I had recieved a couple of invitations to see him perform but never seem to make it out there...meaning LA, Hollywood, Reseda...BFE.


This time he was going to perform at the Brea Improv, and dab namit..THIS time i was going to see him. He had sent me a link to see one of his bits. Before seeing it, wasnt sure if it was gonna be a battle of the Dozens (oh..just in case some of you readers dont know...The Dozens are Yo Momma insults) or Knock Knock jokes (sorry Fam...wasn't sure what to expect). To my surprise..Osay..wups O-cean...was a bonafide comic and had me laughing and then I was even more excited to see him perform live.


I confirmed with him that i was going to go to the show and he told me the tickets were on him and not worry about a thing, "just come and enjoy the show" and to spell my name correctly to give to the club..sure...D-L-E-E-S-A-A Aviles. Done. Im going to a comedy show for free...woo hooo!!!


My girl and i arrived at the Brea Improv and to reconfirm, I BBM (oh, thats BlackBerry Messenger to all you non-Crackberry users) him to make sure to tickets will be at will call.


Reply: They r @ the window..Give them your name (I'm actually retyping this from my BBM, I want to make sure I'm accurate; i dont want to be known for misquoting him)


Me: K will do thanx


I get to the window; smile at the girl and tell her: "Osay...ooh sorry, I mean Ocean has tickets for me"


The girl behind the glass, looks at me and asks me for what show?


Well, he did tell me to be there at 10, so I said "10".


She looked at me puzzled and said you mean "11"...i looked back at here more puzzled and said "no, he said to be here at 10"..then she says back, "Oh its for the 9pm show, ID please"


Uh oh...my I D...see the problem here, is I gave him the name i go by...much like him and the whole "Ocean" thing...everyone knows me as Dleesaa, however, legality...all documents, birf cert, Social and yes, Drivers License say "Marialuisa".


I go through this entire schpill with the counter girl and she can't find me anywhere on the list...i was like, WTH?


Then thought,. "Oh, no he didnt...he is straight having me PUNK'd to see if I'd actually come out to see him perform" I was ready to to give him a mental beating, but before that, I made sure the counter girl really couldnt find my name.


She looked under the legal name (which I already knew she wasnt going to find that) and the name I gave him...then the supervisor asked, "Is this for Sadiki Fuller show"


I looked relieved because I remember Osay..i mean Ocean mentioning that name on his FB..."Yes, yes, it is"


Then the cocky counter girl replies, "Oh, that IS the 11pm show" and BAM! she found my name and gave me my tickets.


Whew! Fam...you have no idea how ready i was ready to hurt you like to stole something..let me get ready and flat iron my hair AND come out in the rain for a no show?


So, we had an hour to kill, so we went to Yard House for a drink; low and behold who do we bump into but none other than Ocean himself.


I hadnt seen him in 12 + years and he looked exactly the same. He was with a friend and so we all sat at the bar for a drink.


I was able to chat with him before the show and asked:


"So, Fam..comedy? When did you decide this is what you wanted to do?"


He replied, " I fell in love with it and KNEW that this is what I wanted to do"


You should have seen the look in his eye, because he sincerely knows that THIS is what he is meant to do and it was inspiring to witness.


We caught up on family and life and then it was showtime. He had some "pull" with the club and was able to give us "VIP" access into the club before everyone else was allowed in. We took our picture on the Improv stage and then, we had picked our seats and patiently waited for him and the rest of the comics to perform.

The comics that performed him were funny, but all i cared about was seeing my Boy do his thing.

The host then announces him:

"This next comic has toured with Damon Wayons, please welcome to the stage, Ocean Glapion"

Ocean takes the stage, just like any comic, mic in one hand and a bottle of beer in the next. He looked so natural on stage, it was definitley where he belonged ..wait..dont i sound like a proud Mama!? HA!

He went on to do his bit about dating, you could see the audience related to this because we are were busting up! what i love most about certain comics, is how they have no problem poking fun at themselves.

George Lopez? Talks about his big head. Kat Williams? His size...Ocean? Talked about God's Humor: Giving good looks but a rough grill....im laughing as i type this, it was hilarious.

Though he wasnt given much time on stage, it was definitely enough time for me to see a glimpse of this man loving his craft.

Just before his performance in Brea, he started his evening hosting at Universal City Walk, then off to Ontario for a show and then Brea. What dedication and commitement.

O, Im always telling my readers to continue to be Inspiring and Be Inspired..and YOU truly Inspire me to stay dedicated and committed to my writing...I thank you!

Readers, if you ever get a chance to see Ocean perform, you will not be disappointed. It will be worht the drive for me to see him perform in BFE!

Congrats O, keep doing doing what you're doing!! Laughter is truly the best medicine for almost anything!!

With that, I'm going to end this entry with a great quote by Eleanor Roosevelt:

"You gain, strength, experience, and confidence by every experience where you really stop to look fear in the face....you must do the thing you cannot do"

Continue to be Inspiring and Be Inspired

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

My Anyway Friend




I was watching an episode of "Private Practice"; Taye Diggs character "Sam' had to say a toast at his 15 year old daughter's wedding. (don't even get me started on that one, thats a whole 'nother blog)


Sam goes on to say in his toast how when his daughter was a little girl, she would call him her "Anyway" friend. He nor the viewers for that matter, knew what an "Anyway Friend" was. To be honest, neither did i, but when he went on to explain, he made perfectly good sense.



An Anyway Friend is a friend that no matter what you did, no matter how you behave, no matter what you say, no matter what life throws at your friendship they love you ANYWAY!


Isn't it funny how a child could come up with a term like that but as adults we make all these excuses.
To All my Anyway Friends...I am truly blessed that our paths have crossed and we have been part on one another's lives.
It is a true blessing to have an Anyway Friend!!
Remember to always....
Be Inspiring, Be Inspired
my Anyway Friends.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Ash Wednesday....Lent begins today!



Look what

I decided

to give

up for Lent!




Emotional writer. Yup, this is going to be an emotional entry. Since Lent begins today I had to decide what I was going to give up. I had been debating between chocolate, all meat, bread and sex...yeah, I know..I know.. what was I thinking adding "giving up CHOCOLATE".


Well Lent is about man trying to follow the example of Jesus in the desert by giving up luxuries and practicing self discipline. And....to try to put aside more time for religious acts and pray so we can really let God into our lives. (Bible study for the day)



So on that, I narrowed my list to these two items...red meat ( and I love me some carne asada) and chocolate (don't get me started about my Lindt Lindor Truffles..ugh...the madness...which by the way I had may last piece today...upwrapping that decadent piece of marvelosity (is that a word? Damn..well today it IS!!!) mmmm...something this good has to be a sin...wait, I think it is..this is one reason I'm gving it up, right? I mean..women across the world has lost there ever loving minds for a piece of this chocolate heaven...*mmmm..chocolate heaven). * in my Homer Simpson..."mmmm donuts" voice.

I chose red meat only so not everyone in my household suffers. I can still cook chicken and fish.

Regarding bread and sex...Bread...well its in nearly everything I eat... depending how you categorize it...tortillas..bread, no? pancakses..bread, no? And sex? Welllll...my husband would have to agree to that and I highly doubt he would. He'd probably throw our vows at me stating that between the lines of "Sickness and health, richer or poorer" lies...the imaginary ones that count are "give your husband the remote whenever he wishes and gives husband sex whenever he demands, with chocolate milk on the side".

That is how I determined that red meat and chocolate would the unlucky contenders this Lent.

Wish me luck that I will have the self discipline as Jesus did walking the desert for 40 days without any luxuries.

Yes. Chocolate and carne asada are luxuries...to me!

*Please note that I am in no way making light of Lent. My apologies in advance if you feel I am.

I write about everything that goes on with me and writing is how I chooose to express the struggle I will be going through for the next 40 days. And...i have to make interesting so my readers know they are not alone....again everything i do...is soooo emotional.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Age 40 My First Rejection Letter

Yes, you all read right...my first rejection letter from The New Yorker was recieved today. I submitted my piece called "The Day Her Brown Eyes Turned Blue", which is about the day my Mother passes away. It was one of the toughest pieces I've ever had to write. I'm so happy and proud of myself that I had the courage to let the fear of rejection subside and submit the work.

I know submitting to the New Yorker was a long shot but after doing some research, I learned that every piece that gets submitted is read. GETS READ!!! Every. Piece. What did i have to lose? Even if they don't reply to me...every piece gets read.

Just knowing that was enough for me, but then I get this email. An email that says "We regret that are unable to use the emclosed material. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to consider it. Sincerely The Editors"

Whoa! The Editors.

You should have seen my face when I opened up the email. I must looked like a teenage girl that gets a reply from their favorite heart throb, MJ, you know the ones? The letters, that are actually written by their PR people but you cant tell that teenager that, as far as they're concerned it came directly from Michael Jackson HIMSELF!!!"

As far as I was concerned...it came directly FROM the Editors themselves...i didnt care if it was just a signature that the flunkies use..nope, did not care..why? Because someone at the New Yorker read MY work...hell, even if it was the janitor...didn't matter..he cleans desks at The New Yorker, doesn't he?..therefore he qualifies; he's there and he read it!

Funny, i never been this excited about recieving a rejection in my life..ever.

I'm not going to lie...its scary especially at my age, 40. I hear that a lots of editors want something young and fresh, all I need is just one to say "yes".

So, until I hear or read that three letter word..I will continue to visualize what I want in my mind. I will see it, feel it, taste it and believe in it. I will make my mental blue print, I set the foundation by not allowing my fear of failure or rejection take over and now i will continue to build it.

Remember to continue to be Inspiring and Be Inspired....I know I will.

Today was definitley a good day!-Ice Cube

Monday, February 15, 2010

Valentine's Day 2010

This year's Valentines Day was a memorable one. As you will see I am posting from my new iPhone that I recieved from my hubby along with dance lessons that I have been talking about wanting to take (btw I will be blogging about how the lessons are going, so wish me luck...40 yr old vs 20 somethings)

Hubby took me and our son out to an early dinner, the daughter had a photo shoot to go do, so she was unable to join us (she trying to earn some money for her new phone, camera, shoes who knows but she'll be paying for it not us)

This isn't much an entry, I wanted to test the blogging from my new toy. Especially since this is the main purpose for it. To blog whenever my big heart contents!

Well my readers, Im off to take my 6 year old son to go see a movie.

Remember to always continue to be inspiring and be inspired!

Til the next entry!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, February 08, 2010

25 Random Things You May Not Know About Me!

1. I auditioned to be a Fly Girl (that's the year pinchi Jennifer Lopez was announced as the new Fly Girl...I was robbed!!!)

2. I was in LA Style Magazine for a feature that was done on "Underground Hip Hop Clubs in LA" a photographer was taking pictures of my friends and I doing different routines..what can I say...it was the 90's.

3. My life long Dream was to become a backup dancer for Janet Jackson, that's why 1 & 2 existed..in hopes to get "discovered"...but then God had a different plan for me..that was to become the mother of an amazing daughter who will make one helluva mark on this earth!

4. I'm an aspired writer...I'm currently writing an inspirational book.

5. Since the first time i ever saw Beat Street, I always knew somehow FATE would take me to New York....I married a Nuyorican with strong tie still there....His Mama!

6. I have a scar under my chin, got that when i was 2..i was taking a bath and decided to walk on the ledge on the tub, slipped and then 6 stitches later.

7. Contrary to popular belief I am not Puerto Rican. I AM Mexican and Italian. Married a Rican and some times I EVEN foget.....Hmmm...chisme or bonchinche?

8. I left the country for the first time when i was 30, my husband (who was my boyfriend at the time) took me on a Caribbean Cruise...first stop Miami (LOVED IT!!) and then Puerto Rico...WEPA!! Gotta go back, they still celebrate Commonwealth holidays and lots of places were closed...Coma' you, me and my 40th!!! oh...and I plan to visit Italy one day.

9. I had always wanted to celebrate a Times Square New Years.. New Years 2005..we did and that's when my husband got down on one knee to ask me to marry him...in the middle of Times Square at 12:01am. After..I even stopped a random NYC Cop and told.."I just got engaged in your amazing City!!"

10. My first love whom I thought I was suppose to marry gave me away on my wedding day....If you know me, only in my world would something like that happen!

11. My Bestest, I've know for 22 years and we've been meeting for MNF for 2 years goin on 3. He helps understand my husband and men for that matter...Ladies every woman needs a male Best Friend...Trust...it helps.

12. I believe I'm one of the most positive people you'll ever meet..I cleanse my self of negativity everyday. Life is too short to allow it in your life. I randomly text my daughter these words..." My Princess, know you are the daughter of a Queen and you ARE destined for GREAT things!!" Ask her.. she'll tell you its true!

13. I am a huge fan of Patti Labelle...I even had a chance to meet her and was speechless...yes..ME speechless, one amazing woman...from her I learned to never Block my Blessings...go through life with a closed fist and the blessings will never have a chance to flow through...AMEN!

14. I believe all women are Queens, they just need to believe it themselves...this is why I started the Reina movement...When i greet ANY woman..whether the checker at the grocery store, the cashier at Taco Bell or an operator...they all get the same greeting..."Hello Queen how is your day? or Hola Reina come estas?" They look puzzled at first, then the smile shines brighter..try it, you'll see what i mean!

15. I'm a hopeless romantic at heart...15 years ago, i was working in a store, an elderly gentleman was paying for his items..opened his wallet to get his money and I notice a beautiful woman..probably taken in the 1950's...i told him.."what a stunning woman" he smiled with a gleamed in his eye and said, "That is my wife" and then he teared up and he said, "The best decision i ever made in my life was marrying my wife". I remember after he left i went to the stock room and cried...it was that kind of love with that much conviction that i wanted...at the age of 36...i got it! You're right Coma' ...never settle...I didnt!

16. When i was pregnant with my daughter, I was so scared to tell my family, that I "plotted" with my Comadre to go with her to Chicago and have the baby there and come back with her and tell everyone that my Comadre was the baby's mother, but she couldn't keep her so I would be raising her as my own...uh...anyone who has ever seen my daughter knows that I "spit her out" she looks exactly like me...yeah, yeah, I know that some Novela shit!!! Thanks Coma' for letting lose my marble for a second there.

17. I chose my daughter's Godmother, not based on that fact that she was my Best Friend when my daughter was born, but more based on the qualities she possessed. She is strong minded, she would never allow any differences that we may have to come in between her and her Goddaughter, she a very proud Latina, she is driven and very focused...qualities i want my Princesa to have and be surrounded by.

18. I attended the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising....I wanted to own my own boutique that had an underground night club....but didn't get my degree...had to quit to help my family.

19. I LOVE the GODFATHER...I live my life by it...especially...never choosing sides against the family..ever. And not just family with the same DNA...but FAMILY!!!

20. My zodiac sign is a Leo...which is why have have that protective gene and very loyal...when i got you, I GOT YOU..but when my loyalty is questioned...nothing can be the same.

21. I am the only girl with 4 brothers, whom i helped raised...they have all told me that they've always considered me their 2nd Mother....now that our Moms has passed and have moved up in rank. Some tough shoes to fill.

22. Some of my mother's last words to my brother about me were..." I gave your sister all the strength in the world, she can handle ANYTHING...but i forgot to give her some patience" yes, I am very impatient.

23. A writer writes some of their best work in their darkest moments...this is very true. when I am happy i get writer's block.

24. The best advise my Bestest ever gave me was.."You know the difference between a victim and a fighter? A victim lies there is gets ready to get f--ked! A fighter comes out of their corner swinging! Which are you?" I always come out swinging!!! Now, which are you?

25. When I've had a bad day..you know lost a job, lost a love one, had a huge fight with a person that matters to me...I always play my wedding video, it was the most happiest day of my life...I watch it so i can be reminded of how happy i was and what that feeling of that day was like so i can re-live it. everyone should have something like that, some thing to help them remind them of their most happiest moment. Remember, Victim or Fighter?

Most Favorite quote:
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Maya Angelou....

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

My Love Affair with Music!



There have been a lot of changes happening, personally and professionally. I won't bore any of you with details but I want to share with you the one thing that seems to stay consistent in my life...aside from my family, close friends, and of course bill collectors and the IRS and that is .....my music.

No matter what my happens in my life, good, bad, celebrations, heartaches, tragedies, nor the status my mood, my emotion, my feelings...my music is ALWAYS there and continues to be, with no judgements or criticism... unless I ask for it.

Have you ever listened to a song and remember exactly where you were, what you wore, what you smelled when you first heard that song?

I ask Michael about this all the time and he thinks I'm just crazy...but something about the music....certain songs become a timeline, of ...my life, if you will.

You may think this is a version of Common's "I Use To Love Her", but the love I'm describing is not about the changes of hip hop but that of all music...different genres, different artists...and a different me for each love....this is a love story of how music saved my soul.

It all starts when I was a lil girl maybe about three or four, it was before any of my brothers were born or even a thought for that matter; my mom use to take me driving around the city with her to people watch and just listen to music. She use to play the radio loud so she and i would bob our heads and dance, well...as much as we could in a moving car. Van Morrison's "Brown Eyed Girl" came on and she would sing it to me. I had brown eyes and she'd always called me her "Brown Eyed Girl"...though the song was nothing about a child but that more of young summer love. Listening to that song takes me right back to that moment when it was just her and I. The day my mother died..she told me how much she loved me and for me to always think of her when I hear this song. Even as Im typing this now, the tears are streaming down my cheek...I miss her.


Elementary:


Growing up...I spent lots of time with my Grandmother...oh how I adored her. She was a big fan of Norteno music...you know.."Los Tigres de Norte", Ramon Ayala and Antonio Aguilar"...you know? They played accordian type music...c'mon.. you know? I can remember when the school year would start; I'd spend the night at her house and she would get up at 4am to make fresh flour tortillas...the minute I heard the accordian music start and the "Ay ya ya's" begin...it was time to get a fresh tortilla off the "comal". Can't listen to norteno music without thinking of my Abuela and her tortillas! Oh, how I miss her and her amazing cooking.


Elementary school years went on and then, Grease was the word! A classmate brought his Grease soundtrack record...yes..record..and started playing "Grease Lightening:...we all started laughing when "Danny" starts to sing how they'll be getting girls:


You know that aint no shit we"ll be getting lots of tit
in Grease Lightning


Wow!! We've come ALONG way from just saying "shit" and "tit" in music.


Imagine Tupac, Eminem or Biggie listening to this?....they'd probably think it was some type of nursery rhyme.


Wait...doesn't a Barney song have 'shit' and 'tit' in it...



"I love you, you love me...you take a shit while grabbing on your mama's tit"...
no?


Maybe Dr. Seuss...



I do not like green eggs and ham

Sam I Am....
I do not like eggs on the file
I do not like them in any style
I will not take them while i shit
I will not take them while I grab her tit....No?

I begin to laugh every time when I hear that song...we thought we were doing something back then, sneaking around to listen to this song with "curse" words.

I remember hearing, Michael Jacksons "Can't stop if you get enough", I was nine years old playing in the yard when this song came on the radio...all i thought was "Michael left the Jackson 5?"...saved my weekly quarter allowance to buy the "Off the Wall" album when it came out. To this day...still one of my favorite albums...RIP Michael...a music great!...a part of me feels like a widow now.


Junior High:



My first crush was when I was 11. I was in charge of taking song dedications for our school newspaper and I placed a dedication to my crush:




To: Jose S.
Song: When we Get Married
From: An Admirer



He had no clue who I was and here I was dedicating The Intruders, "When We Get Married"...boy I was bold back then...but then again when you're remain anonymous, its amazing the things you can do. Now when I hear that song...I get giddy...don't tell my husband, though...this song was in our wedding video.



I remember this one time when I was 12, I had gotten onto a huge argument with a cousin and barged into my house and fell on my bed. I can remember having that feeling of anger and then I heard the Delfonics "La La Means I love you" all of a sudden, I was overcomed with a sense of calmness and the anger went away. I didnt understand how my anger could be gone just like that, especially after hearing a song. I asked my Mom why I felt real calm with this song; she said, "Its because I use to sing this song to you when you were a baby, it was the only way you'd sleep."


Part of the lyrics say:


If I ever saw a girl
That I needed in this world
You are the one for me


Funny...when I started dating, I always imagined the guys trying to vie for my love with a line like this. I smile to myself when I think about that now....hmmmm didnt quite work out like that.




When I was in the eighth grade; I had made the drill team and the first routine we learned was to Zapp's "Do Wah Ditty"....now 25+ years later, when I hear that song I stop what I'm doing to start doing formation...march... left...left...left right left...., hands on hips... point left arm straight to swing around...arms to the front..."Do wah...Do wah ditty..." Good times while rocking the maroon and gold....with my gold Nike Cortez'...thats right i said it..CORTEZs.....Go Cougars!!!...wait...I WAS a cougar EVEN back then...should have known...."Do Wha..Do wha ditty"



High School:



"I Want My MTV" was being chanted by every adolecent in the 80's and I was sure as hell was one of them!


How cool were the VJ's? They got to see all the music videos whenever they wanted as many times they wanted to.


Prince's Purple Rain album had just hit the airwaves..and the tv... "Let's Go Crazy", was my favorite cut.



My tv was glued on MTV so I could run to it every time i heard it come on...and I knew...the second I heard:



"Dearly Beloved..'



I'd run from my room, raise the volume on the t.v. and begin to finish the intro with Prince...




"we are gathered here today..

to get through this thing called life..

Electric word..Life, it means forever..

and thats a mighty long time,

but im here to tell you, there's something else..

The After World!"

A world of never ending happiness

U can always see the sun, day or night

So when you call up that shrink in Beverly Hills

(this is where i act like im talking on the phone, calling the shrink)

You know the one? Dr. Everything'll Be Alright

Instead of asking of much of your time is left

(I point to my watch..you know for "time"?)

Ask him how much of your mind, baby

(pointing to my head)

Cuz in this life..

things are much harder in the After World

In this life

Your On Your OWN!

And if the elevator tries to bring you down...

GO CRAZY (do crazy motion to your head)

punch a high floor!!!"



AND then.....I'd dance around the living room "going crazy"...ahhhh...to be 14 again!!!




The Summer going into my sophmore year was the Summer of my Passage to Womanhood...My Quinceanera! The party you spend most of your life planning...nothing like today's Super Sweet whatever...it was a party that all you cared about was..... making it in the local newspaper...for me..it was Neighborhood News!!! and how thrilled I was when I made the front page!!!



I choreographed and planned the waltz for weeks and we peformed it to: Chicago's "Color My World"


As Im typing this, I'm listening to it right now...I remember every step, every bow, every courtsey and the turn spins...I even marched through an arch of canes....my court's escorts wore tails, top hats and canes...what? it was the 80's and it was soooooo in. It was the best night of my life...I even fell asleep in my big ass dress.




My first kiss I was *cough* *cough* when I was 16...I was a late bloomer...my parents were extremely strict...especially since i was the only girl; I wasn't allow to date until I was 18....and I didnt dare defy my parents.



I spent that summer with my cousin, who lived in what we all thought was the other side of the world...now being driving veteren...it was actually the other side of Pomona..West Covina to be exact.



It was a hot summer night and one of my guy cousin's friend was visiting from East LA. It was late and everyone had gone to bed except he and I; we were listening to Bernard Wright's "Who Do You Love" and then he stole a kiss. I remember feeling awkward...its wasnt like i spent time practicing on my hand or a balloon full of pudding like the girls from "Now and Then" for this moment to happen. It definitely was memorable. Mmmmm....Love that song!


Fall arrived and of my Hip Hop awakening..."Beat Street" was out and I was in love with New York...I moved to a new neighborhood and there were neighborhood kids that would meet up at the neighborhood community center and breakdance...just like the Rock Steady Crew!


They were listening to World Famous Supreme Team's "Hey DJ"...when my cousin and I walked by to see them dance.

The boys would breakdance while the girls danced from left to right...shake shake to the left, freeze, shake shake shake to the right, freeze.

"Hey DJ just play that song, keep me dancing...all night"


We later would become friends with most of the people that were there...to this day they remain very dear to my heart.


Cha Cha style hits the scene...or you may know it as Freestyle or High Energy Disco: Connie, Cover Girls, Trinere, Sweet Sensation, Seduction, Nocera, Lime, Cynthia, Stevie B...ANY number of those songs take me right back to the best two years of my high school life. It was scene of satin tops, lots of pearls, different color pumps, big hair and Agua Net was our best friend...wait sounds like I'm describing Valley Girls....yeah yeah...but we were Latin versions of them...instead of Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"...it was Connie's "Funky Little Beat" Good friggin times!!!

After High School:


I meet my first boyfriend the fall after I graduated high school (remember,,,not allowed to date til i was 18) and we loved Salt n Pepa's "Push it"...he even says everytime he hears that song he thinks of our first meeting, Knotts Berry Farm's Studio K....you memmer!!!


Our love was every Keith Sweat and Al B Sure song sung....I can't listen to any of their songs without thinking of him. He's still one of my dearest friends to this day...and he even gave me away at my wedding....yeah I know...things like this only happen in MY World!!!


Then the clubbing begins and my romance with music begins to climax....my love of underground hip hop becomes evident. In how I dressed and my dancing style.


Boogie Down Production's "The Bridge is Over"...hearing the synthasizers ( i think they're synths) and the piano rhythm in the beginning...whoa...my heart skips a beat everytime I hear that cut



Manhattan keeps on makin it, Brooklyn keeps on takin it

Bronx keeps creatin it and Queens keeps on fakin it

Di di di da di di dida di da...aiy!

I actually got to meet them when they were on tour out here. It was definitley a fly moment in my life. BDP!!!



During this time, I was also a huge Janet Jackson fan and my dream was one day to be one of her backup dancers. I use to hit all sorts of underground clubs in hopes of being "discovered". My all time favorite album of hers is Rhythm Nation 1814 and I knew the choreography to all her music. It was Janet Jackson's "Miss You Much" that I attempted to karaoke to and it was also at that time that I realized that though I may dance like Janet...I definitely didnt sing like her. When reviewing the tape of the gawd-awful performance...i kep telling my girl..."i sound like someone but who?"...then it HIT me...I sounded exactly like Brittany Friggin Chipmunk...squeak and all!!!! It was definitely an experience.


I would later take another jab at karaoke and found that through the years I actually got better and started to sound just like Mary J Blige or En Vogue depending on the song.......well...that's after 6 cadillac margaritas with an extra shot of Cuervo...oh! not for me but for the audience...the alcohol would numb their ears so the squeaking sound coming from my mouth wouldn't be so piercing when i started to sing in the mic.....just stating fact..thats all.



My romance becomes international when I get introduced to Dancehall Reggae music; beginning with Pinchers and Papa San. I felt the beat just hug my curves and seduced me to wine low and shake my bum. Dancehall music has truly become my secret love ...if i had to label my musical relationship..R & B would be my husband and Dancehall would be my mister...mister?...mistress?...lover? you get the idea..and when I want to feel wanted and passionate; I'd just insert tape and press play. (yes, i said TAPE..cd's nor mp3's existed yet)



House music was making its way to the west coast from the Chi and it was about that time I met my Comadre Jenny...who by the way wasn't my comadre yet...When i first met her I had just been transferred to the Jay Jacobs in Lakewood Mall...ya'll memmer Jay Jacobs. She walked in and i instantly didnt like her. We both shared an assistant managers position and i was a cocky bitch and felt that i didnt need to share any position with any one. She walked in and was wearing this black and white geometric looking dress with a wide headband...it was the nineties and block, geometric looks were in. I thought to myself, she reminded me of someone and at the moment the store radio started to play Deee Light's "Groove is in the Heart" and that was it..she reminded me of Deee Light with hefr short bop and headband...i was stuck working with her side by side for inventory that day and by the end of our shift...i loved her! and..really liked house music!




I started to hang out with Jenny alot; she and her Mom used to go to this spot in West Covina called Wings...they played salsa music, the closest i ever got to listening to salsa music was watching Robbie Rosa (ex-Menudo) in the movie "Salsa"...seeing it live was completely different and amazing. Watching the salsa band play the different instruments and watching the people dance as if it were flowing water and so in sync...was just...GWOW!!! it truly is a dance that if you have the wrong partner...you can look like shit dancing. Jen turned me on to Grupo Niche and the one hit i remember was "Cali"..it was also part the "Salsa" soundtrack.

With the birth of my daughter, Isis, came my love of classical music. My mentor, who was alive at the time, said that having Isis listen to classical music as an infant will allow her to appreciate music that much more. So...she brought out Beethoven, Bach, the Three Tenors and she was right...Isis to this day can listen to anything, as I, and appreciate the talent behind it.




(by the way, Jenny was interning in Chicago at the time of my pregnancy and when it came time for me to have Isis, Jen's plane has just landed in LAX and instead of going home, she went straight to the hospital to watch Isis be born....and THAT's how she became my comadre...lil tid bit of what else goes on in my world)




Now that I was a mother and raising this beautiful lil girl, my dream of becoming a dancer had to be placed on the backburner. However, my affair with music hadn't ceased, my child was a result of that love affair. Color Me Bad's "I Wanna Sex You Up" had hit the airwaves and seemed like you could hear it in every car passing by or out of most of the windows in the neighborhood including mine.




Later, things didn't work out with him and I began to feel the lonliness of being a single Mom. I remember hearing Cheryl Pepsi Riley's "Thanks for my Child"...and it was this "letter" if you will, stating no worries, the greatest blessing in life was this beautiful little gift from an incredible union and God had blessed ME to carry her. Here are a couple bars of the lyrics:


You came into my life, You just made everything right.
And even though my man has left me behind,
I don't regret a thing for having you.
I'll stay and watch you grow, Yes I will! I'll raise you by myself, A one woman show.
You make life worth singing a song
With you right here with me,
I 'll have the strength to go on.


Yes, true blessing. Lord, Thank you for MY child.

I went through a rough patch in my life and when I hear Warren G's "Regulate"...it takes me right to THAT rough patch...when i finally finish THAT book..you'll know what I'm talking about. As Jay-Z would say...On to the Next One...



Then I met someone who made things about ME...and it was nice. We had a secret admiration for one another....you see two different religious backgrounds...and it was rough. I remember the day he told me that he wanted to pursue something with me but wasnt sure how i felt about him...coincidentally I had finish writing him a letter expressing my feelings and telling him that the words to Patti Labelle's "If Only you Knew" said it all:


I must have rehearsed my lines
A thousand times
Until I had them memorized
But when I get up the nerve
To tell you, the words
Just never seem to come out right
If only you knew
How much I do
Do love you
If only you knew
How much I do
Do need you

Since my first boyfriend and my daughter's father I hadn't been in a real relationship; in the beginning this relationship was a dream come true.




I would later move to Los Angeles with him and it was all about Tupac's Makaveli's CD and my cut was, "Toss It Up". I always said if i were to ever be a stripper ....my bad Exotic Dancer, this would my song to dance to...boom boom boom..."its the thug in Him!!!"...by the way my imaginary stripper..wups Exotic Dancer name is The Delicious Diva...this part right here...i'd swing around the pole and when K Ci get to "bells rang..make them do ting a ling"...Im shaking my hip and drop it! BAM!

Ohhh, it's K-Ci baby, mmm that want you lady
Ohhh, don't act so shady, baby your taste as fine as gravy
The way you move that thang, you make me wanna sang
Girl you make my bells rang, make them go ting-a-ling!

Can you see it? huh, huh, can you? I could...Im at work right now and I'm even trying to attempt spinning in my swivel chair as I'm typing this....oooh a new brand of exotic dancers...Exotic "sitters"...swerving the chairs and lift it up and down with that lever crap on the side of the chair that lifts and drops the height of the chair...yyyiiiyahhh...i can see it.

Then the inevitable happened...probably the most devastating breakup I had ever experienced...he left me for someone else. (Read my Blog entry Titled: Girl Talk Part Deux)


I started to go out with my friends to deal with my lonliness and my anger; to deal with my anger, they turned me on to Alanis Morissettes "Jagged Little Pill" cd.


I started to listen to Alanis Morissettes, "You Outta know"


'cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, till you died
But you're still alive

Oooh.. that song got me through some hard times...I remember when there were these instances i would call my ex, I'd start to pick fights and basically embarass myself but then after hearing this song; instead of calling, i'd play this and act like i was singing to him...even now when I listen to it...it takes me right back to that place, when I was filled with so much hate and bitterness...not because there is still a hold or anything like that, but just to show how powerful a song can be to our memories; that the songs could in fact take us back to the state of mind we were in when we first heard a particular song.

Since then, I have forgiven him with my hold heart...(he's probably reading this and thinking..."Wow, really?"...my answer to him..."yes, really!") but I survived.


Just like Stella got her Groove back...so DID I!!! The happier me started to be more fun to hang out with and it was Black Eyed Pea's "That's the Joint" that helped me to bring more life into MY life. Talk about goooood tiiiiimes...this song, my black velvet catsuit, 4 inch stilettos and the DJ eyeing me every time i walked into the spot, pushed my confidence level to a height that i knew..."I was a baaaaaaad bitch!!!"...aahhhh wish we had pictures of that, but thats what my photographic memory is for, right?


After months of this, I finally meet the person that would call me his Queen for life. However, if you were to ask at that time if we were each others "the one", we probably would have told you ...uh...no!


Our first date was movie and drinks; we decided to go see Summer Of Sam...whoa...not exactly a great first date movie...all i have to say is...orgy scene. I was mortified in the seat next to him. Him? ahh I bet he was thrilled thinking, "Yeah man...she chose this movie, she must be a freak..you think she's giving me a hint with movie...look at her..acting like she's looking at the movie..c'mon look at me, give the look...how about if i just slowly put my arm around her...think she'll push it away?..hmm let me try". He does proceed to put his arm around me, boy I sure hope he doesn't think he's gonna get lucky cause of this whack ass movie, what the hell was i thinking...good gawd, he must think im some time freaky chick...nope buddy.. I AM NOT!!!


Well turns out we clicked and proceeded to date. We were really into each other and one day we talked about how alot of couples have a song and we really don't. He never thought of it and me being the girl that I am...thought of it all the time. I thought maybe it was a bad omen, like we wouldnt last if we didnt have one. Well one day he decides to take me to a pool hall to meet his dad, brother and cousin..all guys of course. So the guys are being guys and playing pool and I'm watching them play. He was on one side of the place and I on the other...then all of a sudden, the jukebox played Aerosmith's "Dont Want to Miss a Thing"...as soon as I heard the first bar...i looked around the place for him and he was doing the same thing; we locked eyes and nodded to each other...we had just found our song:



I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Well, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure


Through the years together, this wouldn't be our only song, though the first, but definitely not the last. There will be different trials and tribulations that our relationship would experience; when they happen, a new song would come from it, to remind us of those moments and allowing us to add to our playlist.

When I look back at all the different "loves" of my life...they all, from R & B to Hip Hop to Classical, all at one point or another saved my soul. I will be forever grateful to them for that.

About Me

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I'm a writer that writes from the heart...and emotion (ergo, the name of my blog). Most of what I write about, I have had first hand experience in. Anything I review does not say I am an expert...I only write what I THINK and whether I like it or not! Not how the rest of the world should think or feel. I am Mexican/Italian and a Leo..again..why my blog is called the World of Emotion!! Hope you enjoy what I have to say and/or review. Enjoy!