Jaime Aviles
Gone but never Forgotten
I knew I wanted to write about Jaime's final days but I didn't think of turning it into a eulogy until I was at the book store on Saturday. Mitch Alboum , an author Jaime once recommended, wrote a new book 'have a little faith' I was thinking of Jaime when I picked it up..I turned the book around to read what it was about and the first thing I read was....
'In the beginning, there was a question 'will you write my eulogy?" ...I thought I was being asked a favor..Actually I was being given one...."
At that moment I felt as if Jaime was asking me the question, so what was once going be a countdown to his final days has turned into an accounting of how he lived!
When I started writing this I had stopped for a moment; I didn’t know how to begin. So, I turned to Jaime for guidance, 'Pop, help me write your eulogy' I asked, then the strangest thing happened; my blkberry started to vibrate, I looked at it and my facebook notification had appeared; when I opened it, it said 'James Aviles accepted u as a friend'
"James Aviles accepted u as a friend", I repeated to myself. I smiled, looked up and said thank you.
I needed to be reminded that I am writing this not from a daughter in laws perspective but that of a friend.
So I began:
Today we’re here not to mourn Jaime's death, but to celebrate this man’s life. He is survived as u all may know by his three children, Michael, James and Joy, his grandchildren Mikey, Kaila, Kylie and a stepgranddaughter, Isis.
This man LIVED, he loved life and wanted to share it with anyone that came across his path. Anything new, if he was intrigued with it, he wanted to be part of it.....
I remember when I first met Michael, I had just ended a bad relationship n my view of men was 'that they lacked a chromosome called 'ability to tell the truth' ' so when Michael talked about his father once being a teacher, post office worker, dhl delivery guy, owned a liquor store and was an FBI agent...I thought to myself "everything seems somewhat believable..but an FBI agent, hardly! Guys would lie about anything to get another date." I thought Michael was cute so I continued to date him and figured I’d let the lie about his dad and his imaginary jobs slide...it wasn't until a year later...I would stand to be corrected. I took my first family trip with the Aviles' and was about to meet the Matriarch and Patriarch of the Family, Carmen n Jaime. Being the family historian myself I was taken in by all the family pictures that Carmen had all over the house and then I saw 'IT'..a picture that the FBI takes of their agents; it documents their name, agent I.D. number and division they worked..I read it..Name: Aviles, Jaime..ID Number: Don’t remember it Division: Undercover...I was thrown back...he REALLY was an employee of the FBI..I turned to Michael..'Your dad was really an FBI agent?” He turned to me 'I told u that when we started dating. 'Yeah I know but I didn't think u were serious.' 'Why would I lie about something like that? he answered...I keep quiet..and since that day, I never questioned anything Michael ever told me.
That was an amazing trip; it set the standard for all trips to follow and I thank them for that.
Later Jaime would add on, mentor, friend, confidant to his list of duties... truly becoming the epitome of the term 'a jack of all trades' and that was just year one with this family.
Through the years, I was able to see him interact with various people from different walks of life; he never once treated them any different from one another and they loved him for that. There are a lot of you here that feel in debted to him, trust me when I tell u..he knew this and was pleased to know that he help shape your life in one way or another.
As his health continued to get the best of him I needed the answers to two questions I wanted to ask before it was too late. We went to see him in the hospital..he was still coherent enough to have a conversation. He held my hand and thanked me for coming...I told him "no need to thank me.. 10 years ago you became my dad, too when I became part of this family..so of course I'd be here", he smiled and began to tear up (if u knew our history u would understand why) so I proceeded to ask my questions:
Pop, if there is one thing to could tell your grandchildren, what would it be?...he paused for a moment and started to answer.."My grandchildren? They're beautiful aren't they...?" Yes they are..." "I would want my grandchildren to know how amazing their great grandparents are and if they could; they would give them the world..will u tell them that?" Yes, Pop..I make sure to tell them"
Final question, If you could tell your children one thing, what would it be, "my children?...well tell Jaime Jr..I named him Jaime not James...tell them I love them very much and that I will always take care of them even when they think I'm long gone...will you tell them that?" Yes, Pop, I'll tell them. "
My vision of heaven consist of history's music greats joining in for one huge jam session and everyone dancing like no one is watching:
I lost my mother New Years day this year..its been a rough year for us..but it brings me comfort to know that My Mom, is showing Pop how to dance a good cumbia and Pop in turn is showing her what a smooth merengue move looks like.. And judging the two; none other than Abuelo Ismael himself, though u would think he'd be a bit biased to the merengue don't under estimate my Mami...she had some amazing legs, especially when she danced.
You know, Forgiveness is a funny thing; some people think it’s to give requestor peace, when in actuality it’s more for the person giving it. When u truly are able to forgive with your whole heart; it’s only then that you open yourself to all the fruits that God has to offer. It is because of this, that I was able to open my heart and let the words flow as God had intended them to be. For that I am truly grateful.
In closing; there are few things I want to share that I will miss about Pop:
His mouth watering Pernil (no one can compare)
His coquito (ernest we thank God you were able to get the recipe, before it was forever lost)
His love of cologne (well…his technique for applying it that is; we always knew how to track his steps or where he’s been by the scent)
His driving (Michael could always tell if it was his father driving by the drivers swerving back in forth in the lanes)
His love of reading (it was Pop that turned me on to my favorite author; one I hope to work with one day, thank u Pop)
His stressing higher education (he would always say, keep your mind working, read, take a class, you're never too old to go back to school)
And Finally, his unique way of leaving a voicemail for his son: Hello Michael this is your father speaking (it was always as if he thought we never recognized his voice when he'd call to speak to him)
He will be forever missed but never forgotten
No comments:
Post a Comment