My Gym Rant....

This needs to be posted in all gyms across America

I rarely go on a rant about anything...but today I AM.

Last night I decide to try a new workout class with a girlfriend of mine.

It’s a class that is taught by a body builder, who only believes in training only with weights and no cardio.

I thought, “No problem, I get my cardio on in my other workouts, so let’s see what his hype is all about”

First imagine this, he’s 300 pounds ALL MUSCLE and sounds like Arnold Schwarzenegger,

“I’m going to pomp you up!” *Going forward I’ll be referring to the trainer as “Arnold”.

So I get to the gym and I first see the receptionist, small lil petite thing, no older than 18.

“Are you here to take the SPARTAN class?’

I thought to myself…psh I take Muay Thai, I got this.

I reply, “Yes, yes I am.”

Then she turns to my girl and says, “Oh, your back to take the class, too?”

My friend responds, “Yes, hopefully I don’t throw up this time.”

WT??? Throwup?

I look over at her and said, “You REALLY threw up? What kind of friggin class did you sign me up for??”

She laughs and says, “D, you’re good…class is hard but you got it.”

I looked at her confidently and said, “Yeah, you right. Where’s the restroom, I need to put my hair up.”

She pointed to where it was and I walked in.

I look at myself in the mirror fix my hair and proceed to give myself a pep talk.

“D! there is no way in hell you’re going to throw up! You take Boogie Box, Muay Thai, Boxing. You’ve handled all the “warm ups” UFC fighters and Boxers give you. There is no way you’re gonna let this Arnold wannabe “Terminator Jack Ass” Make you throw up. Got it!?”

I nod at myself and silently say, “Break!” *anything to get me through the next hour.

We all line up in a mirrored room because afterall, we all WANT to see parts of our body giggle in the mirror, right? Talk about motivation.

“Arnold” proceeds to tell us to jump and lift our legs side to side…let me tell you…there is nothing more awkward to see then a 300 pound juice head kick his leg in the air side to side….awwwwkward.

Then high kicks…again..I wanna laugh.

*Disclaimer…Okay, this is where my ranting begins:

HIS ASSISTANT is a 20 something year old girl with a her hair up in a pony tail, fully makeuped out and fit figure..ok ok, i’ll give her that, the figure was fit and she had a bubble butt however, she’s wearing running shorts so short that we could see her ass cheeks with every move she does.

“Arnold” is just loving this because with her moves he makes reference, “Good form.” She gives a coy smile as he compliments her.

UGH! Are you friggin kidding me? Get the Eff outta here.

I’m here to work out like a warrior…not see come chick's ass in my face with every workout movement.

*When I workout, whether at Boogie Box, Muay Thai or even the Boxing class…I don’t give a crap what I look like. I’m there to TRAIN not try to show everyone how busting I am in a sports bra or how almost ripped by abs are…I'm not there to flirt with the trainer, flirt with the employees, nor flirt with the other members. I'm there to prove one thing and one thing only and that is that I can get through the class and the person Im trying to prove this to is.....ME!*

So...after we’re done in the mirrored room, “Arnold” takes us outside so we could do walking lunges across the parking lot and Miss Bootylicious is half way down the parking lot…isn’t she suppose to make sure WE, the clients, have “good form” before trying to show off to us that she can lunge with that ass of hers? SOMEONE SLAP HER!

Just as I’m doing MY walking lunges I notice “Arnold’s” shirt that says “Squat til you puke”…WT???? Ah hell naw…screw you, jerk off!

I only puke for Don Julio who has had party with Jack Daniels in my tummy…you are NOT worthy of MY puke!

And I proceed down the parking lot like the warrior I am.

On the way back…side squats…psh…got this!

Then “Arnold” says “How about we work the tires?” As if he’s asking a bunch of kids, “Okay kids want some ice cream now, yeah” *kids scream with delight.

WTH!!! We aint kids and this aint ice cream…you’re asking us if we WANT to lift and push around a tire, big and heavy enough for Paul Bunyon to use as a hoola hoop. Ave Maria!

Bootylicious proceeds to jump ahead of the class and show off to every that she and her ass can do it…then she says, “C’mon guys if I can do it you can do it.” *annoying Barbie voice…Ugh! SOMEONE SLAP HER!

We do it and do it in somewhat perfect form. Well, actually one of us in our group is struggling…so we, the newbies, gather around her; show her the technique we all used and cheer her on…where’s “Arnold” and “Bootylicious”, you ask? Down the parking lot talking about, Lawd only knows what, while WE help and motivate each other….What the hell are they for? Just to show off?

Afterwards, "Arnold" says, "We're all done, who's ready to sign up?" and he was serious!

Yiiiyyyah….Like I’m really going to join this gym…NOT!

On my way home, I was reflecting on why I didn’t like it too much. The class itself was fine; it’s the atmosphere. “Arnold” is the type of person that is all about appearances. Yes, I understand people want to lose weight to look great, but I as I began my journey, it was lot more deepr than that for me. It was about extending the years to my life and feel amazing; the the additional compliments on my transformation is just an added bonus.

I told you all in the earlier posts, had my mami taken care of herself, she’d be here with us today and getting excited to see her only granddaughter graduate from high school next week. She didn’t so she’s won’t.

Though i couldn't control that situation, I could control mine and decided to change things and I have! I will not only see my princess graduate from high school, but I’ll see college graduations, all the achievements that she and her brother will accomplish. All because I took that step to take back my life.

And places like “Arnold’s” have no interest for someone like me and you know what? I’m so fine with that and you should be too.

With that my readers, remember you should feel good about yourself when your working out afterall, the transforamtion is for you and no one else.

Until next time:

Remember to Continue to

Be Inspring, Be Inspired.